Self love: how to be a happy mom


In recent years, it seems that the Internet space has changed direction. If earlier people seemed to share more positive experiences and shouted “dream and everything will work out” from literally every corner, now the opposite trend is happening. People directly talk about their fatigue, fears, complexes, laziness, lack of productivity.

In this space, the group of mothers and children stands out. Moms — both new and experienced — began to speak out more often that motherhood is not a pleasure that brings unconditional happiness 24 hours a day, but full-fledged work: physical, unpaid and often leading to burnout.

Why it’s important to take care of yourself

The list of maternal “don’ts” is incredibly long, and the pressure on women comes from all sides. Husband, relatives, girlfriends, acquaintances and even strangers in stores and on the streets — everyone knows best and considers it his duty to shame her mother for something, imposing on her a sense of her own inferiority. Is the child screaming? Bad mother! Why is my son barefoot at home? Do you want him to get sick? Do not walk with the baby 3 times a day for 4 hours? Give him immunity! Are you yelling at a child? You have no right to immediately take away the baby!

The pressure is often superimposed on postpartum depression, which eventually causes serious mental problems. It is for this reason that it is so important for mothers to take care of themselves and cherish, first of all, their psycho-emotional state. Only then will the child be able to grow safely: the healthier and happier the mother, the better the baby.

The main “airplane” rule can be successfully applied in everyday life, and it perfectly reflects the correct model of maternal behavior:

“Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, and then on the child”.

The best ways to relax mom

How can a young mother relax? Most of the recommendations from the Internet are absolutely impossible: not everyone can break loose and fly alone to the Red Sea. Yes, and a child with growing teeth, not getting away with, you will not take with you to the cinema for the premiere of the long-awaited film.

However, mothers can relax and restore peace of mind in other ways.

Two birds with one stone
Try to combine business with pleasure. For example, while bathing a baby, you can make yourself a hand bath or a hair mask, or you can arrange a whole bath adventure with dissolving bombs and fragrant foam.

If you like to draw, then join the kid during his creative activities: relax yourself, and the child will be supervised.

By the way, if mom does not enjoy shifting educational cards, and sorting through cereals for the development of fine motor skills is mortally bored, then this you can not do. Choose only those development options that you yourself like.

Lying games
Lying and sedentary games with a child are an ideal vacation option for moms! Playing tag or hide-and-seek around the clock is an activity for the most sophisticated. But playing masseur, doctor or baby is an option for cunning mothers!

You can just lie down, relax, and at the same time develop the baby. Invite him to take his mother’s temperature, cover the «sick» with a blanket, comb his hair, or arrange a track for racing cars from his own back.

Daily regime

Not only the daily routine is important for children, but also for mothers. At the same time, the optimal solution is to make such a schedule of sleep and wakefulness that will be convenient for the mother. Try to sleep with your baby in the afternoon and go to bed at the same time as him at night.

Can’t sleep? It’s okay, you can just lie down in silence, read a book, dream. The main thing is not to rush into cooking or other household chores.

List of relaxing things

In order for mom to understand how to relax, she needs to figure out what brings real peace. To do this, you can make a list of all those things that help you relax.

In the turmoil of the decree, women sometimes completely forget about what they used to enjoy. Meanwhile, this is a great chance to replenish moral and physical strength. Anything can be included in the list:

  • learning Korean at your leisure;
  • foot baths in the evenings;
  • watching the concerts of your favorite band in the recording;
  • face masks;
  • sorting through old photo albums and pictures.

Of course, not all options for such a holiday will be available immediately. However, they can give you ideas when the child is in kindergarten, or fast asleep: cancel a couple of household chores and do something just for your own comfort.

Delegation of cases

Never forget about relatives. If grandmothers or aunts offer help, there is no need to refuse. This will help maintain peace of mind during periods when mom is on the verge.

But if the child has a dad, then the word «help» is not appropriate in principle. He is exactly the same full-fledged participant in the upbringing process as the mother, which means that 50% of the cares and responsibility are on him. No need to feel guilty or intrusive for asking to bathe a child, feed him or put him to bed.

Disobedience Day

Mom is not a nun or a prisoner sentenced to life imprisonment. Therefore, organizing days of disobedience from time to time is not a privilege, but a right and even a duty.

Do you feel like you don’t have the strength to do anything? So don’t do anything! Wrinkled underwear will not run away, and scattered toys — even more so. Let your child watch cartoons until the evening, eat a couple of slices of pizza and wear pajamas all day.

Moms, although superwomen, are by no means omnipotent. It’s never too late to slow down, indulge your inner child with a meal ordered online or watching a TV series while your child eats breakfast.

Learning to recognize your own burnout is a good way to make maternity leave more comfortable. Do not forget that a woman is, first of all, a person with her desires, needs and feelings, and only then someone’s mother. Try to listen to the signals of the body («I feel bad», «I’m tired», «I need a break») and, as mentioned above, put on the oxygen mask first on yourself, and only then on the child.


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