No couple is immune from conflict. However, banal misunderstandings and clashes of different interests can lead to serious quarrels, and sometimes become a reason for breaking off relations. In order not to «bring» the intensity of passions to the point of no return, it is important to know the rules for conducting a constructive dialogue. And, of course, be able to apply these rules in a conversation with a partner.

Why do conflicts arise?

First of all, the conflict should not be perceived as a direct threat to the relationship. All people are different, and your couple is no exception. In general, any conflict should be viewed from the positive side. Since his presence suggests that both partners have their own point of view on a particular situation — and are not afraid to express their opinion. That is, we are talking about normal healthy relationships.

Often in the union of two people there are so-called «hushed up» topics. They may relate to the vision of the relationship itself, some unspoken stereotypes — in a word, what is not customary to discuss among themselves. Both partners may take this for granted, but at the same time see the situation in completely different ways. And this often forms the basis of irreconcilable confrontations — the parties are offended by each other, exchange accusations and experience mental pain. Without thinking about the fact that this situation has never been discussed before, and there was no clear agreement on this issue.

It is important to remember that the basis for achieving a productive result is always communication. The ability to talk and find a common language becomes a platform for starting relationships. This principle should be adhered to for their preservation! Do not forget that, despite similar interests and worldviews, your partner (as well as you) cannot read minds. Therefore, to resolve the conflict, you must, first of all, convey them to him — and do it as correctly as possible.

How to behave in a quarrel with a partner

The first rule to follow is communication. Even an awkward conversation is better than deaf silence! So, speak up and share your opinion. And remember that before you is not an enemy looking for a way to humiliate and insult you. And a beloved and loving person with whom you have been together for a long time and have come a long way.

The second rule is the value of every opinion. Before clarifying the situation, set yourself a goal for the upcoming conversation. What exactly do you want to achieve? The desire for self-affirmation and upholding one’s point of view, regardless of the desires and expectations of the other side, is a road to nowhere. Remember that a happy union can only be when both partners are happy. And, therefore, everyone has the right to speak out — and to be heard. In addition, by doing this you once again remind the second person that he and his opinion are still important to you.

The third rule — the very fact of the conflict does not mean the collapse of your relationship. The disagreements that have arisen only indicate that you have not developed general rules on a certain issue. And the ones you used to stick to don’t work anymore. And you need to jointly adopt a new set of these rules.

You can start a dialogue in two ways — by sharing your feelings and experiences with your partner or by being interested in his vision of the current situation. No accusations and aggression! Your task is to determine the cause of disagreements and together find an option to overcome them. And this option should suit both of you.

It is not always possible to achieve mutual understanding the first time. If you can clearly see that your partner “does not hear” you, is overly upset or angry, postpone the conversation. Give your loved one time to cool down. Wait until he is ready to continue the conversation and find an effective solution. And remember that this decision should be equally acceptable for you and for him.

If time passes, and the other side does not take any steps to resolve the conflict, this is a reason to think seriously. Perhaps there are warning signs of abuse in the form of ignoring, imposing one’s own rightness or instilling a sense of guilt. Such facts have no place in a healthy relationship — and this gives you every reason to think about the meaning of their continued preservation.