The first grade is a serious test for both parents and students. Some children quickly adapt to a new environment, while others miss their familiar home environment. In the latter situation, adults are most often to blame, who themselves convey their mood to the child. 5 tv.ru tells what mistakes parents of first graders should avoid.
Authoritarian approach to learning
Overprotective parents sometimes worry more about their child than they should. Supposedly trying to make it easier for him to study in the 1st grade, they manage to “drag” the child to all possible tutors even before school. So by the beginning of the school year, the child may really know more than his peers, but he has to study according to the same program, so he often gets bored. At home, he never rests for a minute. If the child has done all the lessons, then the parent loads him with housework so that he “does not relax”. However, this is exactly what a child of his age really needs — rest, games and communication with peers. As a result, appeals in an imperative tone in the spirit of “you must (a)” discourage the child from any motivation and interest in learning — after all, knowledge of the world is now associated with “obligation”. Because of the fear of causing the anger and disappointment of the parent, the child develops an “excellent student syndrome”, which is often accompanied by asociality. After all, instead of chasing the ball in the yard with friends, he is locked in a room for lessons.
Intervene in the child’s relationship with classmates
The worst thing a parent can do is control a child’s relationships with peers. Sometimes the mother feels so one with the child that she allows herself to dictate with whom to communicate and with whom not. If a child is lazy to do homework, then his desk mate is to blame, from whom he takes an example. Moreover, most often he operates with arguments from the position of ideality and exclusivity, as if his child does not have any vices at all and cannot himself have a bad influence on the environment. An adult tries to shield his child from the evil of the world, but forgets that it is important for a child to acquire social interaction skills and independently resolve conflict situations. After all, not the whole world will be as loyal to him as dad and mom. The only case when adults should intervene is a serious fight or bullying in the team. If this is an ordinary quarrel, then you should not run to complain to teachers and call the parents of another child.
Take credit for your child’s accomplishments
It is very important to be able to properly encourage the child in the pursuit of knowledge, creativity and sports. However, it happens that the parent, on the contrary, is afraid to praise the child for the efforts, because supposedly he will stop trying. At the same time, in the company of other parents, they do not hesitate to once again mention the success of the child. In fact, this behavior only irritates the parents of his classmates — as a result, some kind of competition is created between adults, during which it will be necessary to find out whose child is better. Behind this parenting behavior is often a lack of self-confidence. It’s one thing to be proud of a child’s accomplishments, and another to take credit for their accomplishments.
Infect with anxiety
It depends on the parent how quickly the child adapts to the new team. It happens that adults themselves create a premonition of something bad in a child. This can manifest itself in disturbing questions like “Did anyone hurt you? Why are your eyes sad? Is no one laughing at you?» Nervousness is instantly transmitted to the child. Accordingly, at school, he will attract conflict situations and rush home to tell bad news. In this case, an adult should ask himself why something bad should happen to their child. Perhaps this is somehow connected with his personal experience at school, which he extrapolates to the child. Instead of escalating, build the conversation in a positive way. Ask what interesting things happened at school, with whom the child managed to make friends, whether he likes his school supplies, class, teacher, and so on. Be in the moment with the child — if something really happened, carefully ask and listen, and if everything is in order, then you do not need to pull out information with “terrible” questions.
Adults who tend to express thoughts aloud often make a gross mistake when criticizing the teaching staff in the presence of a child. Sometimes the parent of a first-grader himself treats the school as if he would have to fight with everyone and deliberately criticize the teachers, looking for shortcomings. In fact, this attempt to reduce the importance of the teacher in the eyes of the child may betray the authoritarian parent’s fear of losing control over him. If an adult does not like the way a particular teacher teaches, it is better to change the class or school. Otherwise, in the eyes of a first-grader, the teacher will gradually lose authority. The child may stop reckoning with his remarks in the classroom, will argue out of business and violate discipline in the classroom.