How to involve a father in raising a child?


It happens that fathers take very little part in the upbringing of children. How to tactfully involve dad and husband in interaction with a child? Let’s discuss.

Talk to him and explain the situation

It would seem an obvious advice, but it is precisely this that many neglect. The golden rule of a successful marriage is to talk about your concerns and resolve disputes through discussion. Men sometimes believe that being the «breadwinner» in the family is a sufficient contribution to its prosperity. Tell your husband that this is not the case, and the positions of “earner” and “keeper of the hearth” are in the past — now it is important that both parents take part in raising the baby.

Don’t be intimidated

You should not start a conversation by reading out a list of what your husband now has to do around the house. Gently explain that you are not able to keep the whole life on yourself and offer to decide what exactly in the educational process can be divided so that everyone is satisfied. It would be great if even before the birth you attend special courses for parents or a perinatal psychologist together — he will help prepare for the birth of the child and the upcoming responsibilities.

Don’t step back

Some women believe that no one can handle a child better than them and you can’t trust such crucial moments to anyone, even your husband. If we add to this the fact that many men are simply afraid of somehow harming the newborn and prefer not to touch the child once again, then the picture is not at all rosy. To prevent this from happening, follow the dad — let him take care of the baby with you from the very moment of birth. Explain how to heat milk in a bottle, how to change a diaper, how to properly hold a baby, and what temperature water is for bathing. Accustom a man to mutual assistance in education as early as possible — then you won’t have to “retrain” him in the future.

Don’t criticize for no reason

We have already mentioned that some fathers are afraid of small children because they do not know how to deal with them. Perhaps they believe that some innate instinct helps the mother in this, and not skills acquired by experience. This position will only be strengthened if you keep telling your husband that he is doing something wrong — putting the wrong socks on the child, showing the wrong cartoons or showing the right cartoons, but instead he should have read a book and so on. Remember that you married, hopefully, a man you are confident in — so why is his ability to manage children now being questioned? Of course, not everything will turn out perfect right away, but without practice it is impossible to learn upbringing in principle.

Don’t Forget Praise

You won’t get far on reproaches and thoughtless criticism, which can’t be said about praise — sincerely expressed gratitude for helping with the child and a few words about what a great dad today will surely cheer him up and encourage him to even greater achievements in the future. Praise is worth even for those little things that seem insignificant to you — washing dishes or an independent desire to do homework with the baby. Upbringing is hard work and the contribution of any parent to it is worthy of pleasant words.

Organize joint leisure

Encourage your husband’s desire to spend time with the child in every possible way. Every minute spent together helps to strengthen the family bond and a comfortable atmosphere in the family, where mom and dad are equally important for the child. Walks, cooking dinners, picnics, sports events — spare no time and effort to organize them with the whole family.

Talk about your child’s progress

The more your husband knows about what is happening in the life of a son or daughter, the more connected he will feel with the child. Tell us what a big dog you met in the park, what a bright and unusual picture the child drew in kindergarten, or how many spoons of porridge he ate this morning. Do not exclude dad from the process of upbringing, and then he will most likely be included in it himself.

The appearance of a child in a family is an important and very responsible period. In order to competently survive it, remember the support, understanding and acceptance within the family. If something goes wrong and you understand that you cannot cope with the conflict on your own, contact a psychologist.


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