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Responsibility is exactly the same skill as discipline. It does not arise from nowhere, and therefore it must be developed starting from childhood. Sometimes it seems to moms and dads that either the child is too small to take responsibility, or time has already been irretrievably lost. But it’s not! Here are some helpful tips to help you cultivate responsibility with your child.
Tip #1: Establish cause and effect relationships
The first step to instilling real responsibility in a child is to develop the ability to establish cause and effect relationships. You can start with the most elementary things and everyday examples: “Your feet got wet because you ran through the puddles for a long time” or “You were late because you didn’t set the alarm.”
In the same vein, you can ask the child leading questions: “What will happen if you don’t vacuum for a week?” Discuss with him where this might lead.
Gradually, the child will begin to understand the relationship between cause and effect. If there is an agreement in your family that the child, for example, always puts his wet shoes under the battery after a walk, then it will be enough for him to see the result of his “irresponsibility” in order to learn the rules.
By the way, instructive books help to develop this kind of thinking well: “Cinderella lost her shoe because she was in a hurry, because the dress began to turn into tatters. All because she didn’t keep track of time.»
Tip number 2: Clearly follow the rules
If today you created a rule according to which the child is now responsible for walking the dog, and tomorrow morning you took pity on the sleeping child and went for a walk with the dog yourself, then there will be no question of any responsibility. The rules must be followed clearly and unwaveringly, otherwise the next time the child simply will not take you seriously. Be consistent.
Tip number 3: Expanding the area of responsibility
In many ways, children’s responsibility is based on household chores. And it would be nice to entrust the child with different things from a very early age. You can start simple: put away your plate and cutlery in the sink, water the cactus in your room, arrange the glasses before dinner.
But as they grow older, the area of responsibility should expand, and the tasks should become more complicated. So, for example, the area of responsibility of a child may be washing dishes, dusting all surfaces in the house twice a week. The more difficult the task, the greater this responsibility.
Tip number 4: Form the concept of priority
The child must understand that things are divided into primary and secondary. Do you want to hang out on your smartphone? No problem, just vacuum the apartment first. Are you going out with your friends? Great, but first clean up your desk and pick up your little sister from preschool as agreed.
The concept of priority is best formed by your own example: «I really want to watch the series, but first I need to cook dinner.»
Tip #5: No Criticism or Judgment
Formation of responsibility is a complex and long process. Therefore, moms and dads need to be patient if the child does something wrong. Notations and condemnation in the style of «Well, I told you!» will not help, but only develop a sense of guilt. It’s better to treat children’s miscalculations with humor: “Wow, you didn’t wash the dishes! It seems that our cockroaches will have a feast for the whole world tonight!
But it is absolutely not forbidden to praise and encourage children for their efforts, this forms a positive motivation: children love to get satisfaction from their small victories!
Tip #6: Surround Your Child with Tools for Self-Discipline
How can you make it easier for your child to take responsibility? Give him all the necessary tools! It would be strange if he remembered on the very first day on which day of the week he undertook to wash the floor, and on which — to wipe the dust. What can significantly help a child:
- proper alarm;
- diary or calendar (you can install the application on your smartphone);
- colorful adhesive stickers;
- chalk board;
- fridge magnets with sheets for writing;
- wrist watch.
With their help, the child will learn to allocate time, organize his schedule, avoid being late and breaking agreements.
Tip #7: Don’t rush to help
Parents who want to build responsibility in their children should not help their children, especially when it comes to correcting mistakes. If the child is responsible for the neatness of his school uniform, then you do not need to rush to the ironing embrasure in the morning and iron wrinkled trousers, because someone forgot to do it the day before. The child has made the wrong decision and must deal with the consequences.
But if the child himself asks for help — no need to refuse! Accept his help with gratitude, this will also have a positive effect on his sense of responsibility.
Tip #8: Letting You Be Involved in Family Decisions
To develop responsibility, children must be involved in family affairs and allowed to make decisions on an equal basis with everyone else (in accordance with their age). Therefore, it is so important to always consult with your son or daughter on important issues (buying a refrigerator, a new wallpaper color, etc.). This will give them an understanding that their opinion is important.
Responsibility, like many other qualities, must be learned. It is for this reason that one of the main tasks of moms and dads is to gradually provide their child with more and more freedom so that he can become proactive, serious and learn to be responsible for his own decisions and actions. And, of course, be an example for the child: also fulfill your obligations and tasks on time.
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