Modern school sometimes resembles a real battlefield. What happens within the walls of an educational institution, mothers and fathers learn mainly from the lips of their children, sometimes from the words of teachers or other parents. What tactics to choose to protect your child in different situations? Let’s go over it in detail.
Situation #1: Bullying
Is your child offended, insulted, teased, boycotted, infringed, beaten? It’s all called bullying. Bullying, harassment, intimidation are subjected not only to the so-called weak introverted children who cannot fight back the offenders, but also to any children in general.
The instigators of bullying (one person, a small company or a whole team) do not need any special reasons to start bullying a child, so absolutely anyone can become a victim.
How to protect your child from bullying? Here are some recommendations:
— Intervene by all means. A rare child will be able to solve this problem without adults. How is bullying different from conflict? Conflict is a clash of interests, it allows you to extract positive experience. Bullying brings only stress, panic, anxiety and other psychological problems;
— Do not immediately pull details out of the child with tongs. It may be painful and embarrassing for him to talk about traumatic experiences. Ask him to write about his feelings, watch themed films with him to increase the level of trust and openness. Support him and let him know that you are always ready to help and be sure to stop the bullying;
— Teach your child to fix violationsI. Let him take screenshots of messages with threats, record the words of the offenders on the recorder, and take a photo. Collect the facts and present them to the class teacher, head teacher, social pedagogue, director: they must be immediately brought up to date. The school is obliged to ensure the safety of your child, this responsibility is entirely on the shoulders of the educational institution;
— Beliefs Don’t Help? Contact the police along with the evidence. If not only your child suffers from the actions of the offenders, you can draw up a collective statement;
— Don’t tell your child to hit back. This behavior can anger offenders. Encourage your child to ignore intruders, run away in dangerous situations, remain calm, and breathe deeply. Also teach your child the words “no”, “no”, “I don’t like”, “I don’t want” and always tell adults (teachers, parents) if they offend him.
If bullying has gone too far, the first way to protect your child is to homeschool or change schools. The safety of children must come first!
Situation #2: Conflicts with the teacher
Conflicts with teachers seem to have become an integral part of the educational process in the modern school. And most importantly, there are countless reasons for them: the appearance of the child, his abilities, academic performance, behavior, hobbies … It happens that teachers conflict with children for some personal reasons.
It is very important for parents not to slow down conflicts that negatively affect the child: they develop phobias in him, lead to stress and anxiety, insomnia, panic attacks, nervousness, and lower academic performance.
How to protect a child from teacher arbitrariness? The following recommendations will help:
— The first thing a parent should know is that a teacher has no right to insult a child and punish him physically. If you find out that the teacher allows himself too much, appoint an «audience» with the principal of the school, where you will discuss this issue;
— If your admonitions do not affect the director, submit an application on the portal of the Ministry of Education;
Find out from other parents if they have had similar conflicts with this teacher. It happens that there are a lot of dissatisfied people. In this case, you can make a collective statement and ask to change the teacher;
Teach your child to collect evidence. If he claims that the teacher constantly insults and humiliates him, ask him to use a video recording or a voice recorder. True, in court (if it suddenly comes to it), such records will not be evidence, since they require an examination. However, such confirmations will prove that the child is not lying or exaggerating.
It is important for mothers and fathers to tell children about their rights from primary school age. In particular, that physical impact, insults are unacceptable, including from the side of the teacher. It should be explained that you should not respond to the words or actions of the teacher in the same way. The main thing is to remain correct and inform your parents about what happened.
Situation #3: Injuries
The child was injured at school: what to do, where to run and how to protect children’s rights?
In accordance with article No. 1068 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation, all expenses associated with treatment or recovery must be paid by the school, since it is it that is responsible for the health and safety of children during classes. The school (not a specific teacher!) is responsible and all financial costs, even if the child was injured through their own fault, since teachers (including teachers on duty at breaks) should have been able to stop traumatic actions.
If the school refuses to reimburse the costs, parents have the right to file a claim with the school administration or apply with a corresponding application on the portal of the Ministry of Education.
By the way, if another student is to blame for the injury of the child, the educational institution may require reimbursement of expenses from his parents. But only if it proves it.
So how do you protect your child from injury at school? First of all, you should try to explain to the child that you shouldn’t solve problems with your fists (you can always find a compromise), you don’t need to test your body for endurance in sophisticated ways, and the change is not created for jet runs up the stairs. Otherwise, any injuries are usually an accident.
Situation #4: Theft
It also happens: there was a theft at school, and all the blame is put on your child. What to do in this situation? Remind your child often that teachers and other students have no right to search his things, even if he is suspected. Only the police or the student’s parents can conduct body searches.
The child is asked to show the contents of the bag? He can do it voluntarily, or he can refuse. It happens that stolen items are planted on innocent children, so teachers should not conduct any searches.
But what if the thing was stolen from the child himself? The following tips will help:
— Inform the class teacher, he is obliged to conduct a conversation with the students and ask to return the stolen item, talking about the possible consequences;
— If the conversation did not have the desired result, parents should contact the local police station and call the staff to the school to fix the theft.
Moms and dads need to understand that the educational institution is not responsible for the stolen in the classroom. The school can only help in conducting a collective conversation until the case is referred to the authorities. If the police intervened, the culprit will no longer be able to escape punishment.
But if the thing was stolen from the locker room — that’s another question. The school is obliged to ensure the safety of things in the wardrobe, and, according to the Civil Code of the Russian Federation, parents have the right to demand compensation by writing an application addressed to the director.
Situation #5: Damage to school property
No one is safe from unforeseen situations, and even more so schoolchildren. How many times have we ourselves witnessed broken glass, broken chairs, torn geographical maps… Anything can happen! Sometimes teachers «set all dogs loose» on children and force their parents to pay damages. Is this correct and what should I do?
First of all, parents need to know the circumstances of the situation. If the windows in the gym are not closed with nets or bars, and the child breaks the window with a ball, then the school is to blame. But if the child purposefully aimed at the window, despite the supervision of the teacher and his request not to play with the ball in the school corridor, then the child himself is to blame.
The child will be responsible if he draws a school desk or tears a page out of a textbook. However, it is not his fault if a poorly fixed sink cracks in the restroom.
So what are moms and dads to do? First of all, demand evidence of the guilt of the child (photos, videos, independent witnesses, video from the camera). If the school does not have them, then there is no question of any compensation for damage.
Case #6: Gender inequality
“The girls are washing the floors today, and the boys can go home!” How to deal with school gender inequality?
You can try to solve the problem by having a peaceful conversation with the teacher. Ask the teacher to reconsider their views. Explain that it is wrong to segregate children by gender, placing more responsibility and responsibility on some children than on others. Does not help? Higher authorities should be involved by contacting the school administration, and then the education department.