Sometimes a child behaves differently than adults would like. He’s naughty, doesn’t listen. We as parents usually call this behavior
«bad». After all, it gives us a lot of inconvenience. But often we simply do not see what is really happening with the child. We do not understand,
that behind the «bad» behavior of the baby lies something else. Therefore, it is very important to understand the cause of the whim. Only then will we know
how to respond and how to help a child cope with a difficult situation.
The most common causes of whims:
1. Overwork, malaise
In the evening, after a busy day or joyful events, the baby may become uncontrollable. He is easily irritated, scandalous, overreacts to minor incidents.
How to help: Check if the child is healthy. If it’s just a matter of fatigue, then put aside all active games and try to reduce the intensity of passions — the nervous system is overloaded and will not even perceive fun activities. Hug your baby and do something soothing together (read a book out loud, listen to an audio story, you can get creative).
2. Crisis of three years
If your baby is from 2.5 to 4 years old, and whims have become a constant background in your life, then it’s time to think about age crises. Total denial, a resolute “no!” to any suggestions of adults, attempts to do everything on their own are their typical features. Now the number of whims is noticeably increasing (and some babies seem to consist of them at all!).
How to help: Any crisis is of great importance for further development. Therefore, we take a deep breath, exhale … and begin to give the child more independence. Yes, parents will have to be patient, but after a couple of weeks (months, six months — everything is individual), you will get a completely new little man who will surprise you with his “maturity” and new abilities.
3. Defending borders, fighting for independence
This may be part of the crisis of three years. Or maybe not, it is not necessary to call each “I myself!” crisis. Trying to control what happens to you is a big step for personal development, so the struggle for independence is vital for every kid, no matter what adults tired of “yasams” think about it.
How to help: If your child spills soup, breaks a mug, or breaks a toy while trying to do something on their own, don’t scold them. It is better to celebrate the achievements of the crumbs and offer to bring the matter to the end together. Often, just acknowledging the child’s independent attempts to do something is already enough to reduce whims to a minimum. Well, the classic tricks with a choice between two acceptable options and the absence of unnecessary prohibitions on what is not dangerous will save you a lot of nerve cells.
How to help a child in difficult situations? How to do it easily, without notations and moralizing?
Therapeutic fairy tales are one of the best ways to gently correct a child’s behavior.
For soft and careful work with situations when your baby is naughty or shows fear or aggression, we recommend our NEW BOOK: «Clever Girl®. GameFairytale Therapy®. 50 therapeutic fairy tales and games from whims, fears and aggression.»
It contains 41 fairy tales (15 fairy tales from whims, 15 fairy tales from fears and 11 fairy tales from aggression), 9 games and advice for parents on how to communicate with children in such difficult situations. The book has 288 pages.
Such fairy tales allow the child to look at negative behavior from the outside and at the same time do not devalue his feelings, and also do not lead parents into notation.