Some people think that once children grow up, their parents no longer owe them anything. This is not entirely true.
We want to tell you on what «adult» principles the relationship between parents and their grown children is built.
So, dear parents:
The modern world is arranged in such a way that empathy is often perceived as a weakness. At first, young parents think so, and then exactly the same ideas come to already grown-up children.
What to do? Forget prejudice! The ability to show empathy is not only an important skill, but also first duty parents and children. This will allow moms and dads to build beneficial relationships with their adult children.
In such a family, the child will not close and experience a disastrous experience alone. With any problem (be it alcohol, drugs, psychological trauma, abusive romantic relationships), he will come in the hope of understanding, responsiveness, acceptance.
Empathy is precisely what prevents people from devaluing the experience of others. And it is especially important not to devalue the feelings of your own children, no matter how old they are.
Learn to sincerely apologize. An apology can be called a special form of interaction that helps to maintain contact, even if it hangs by a thread.
Each person can break loose on children and tell them nasty things. However, let them know that you are always ready to accept your wrong and apologize to them. This positive experience will affect their romantic relationships and relationships with their own children in the future.
Take care of your health
Why is it the duty of parents to take care of their own health? This is because they are the main protectors of their children, even if the “kids” have long grown up. Of course, life is unpredictable. But we must always do our best. For example, walk in the fresh air more often, perform simple physical activities, undergo medical examination once a year, do not forget to visit doctors, try to eat right and protect yourself from unnecessary informational noise.
It is important to take care not only of physical health, but also of moral. Be sure to strengthen the strength of mind and stress resistance! Children grow all their lives, which means that they will have to worry about them all their lives.
If you are used to clutching at your heart from any news and falling into impromptu fainting from any force majeure, then it is not surprising that an adult child wants to save your psycho-emotional state and is silent about everything that happens to him.
Do you want to always be aware of how your grown children live, what interests and fascinates them? Temper your nerves and live according to the principle «what to be — that cannot be avoided.»
Not only children can come to moms and dads to cry into the vest. It is also important for parents to share feelings and experiences with adult children. Let them know that you are a living person, subject to emotions, and you too need comfort, support and advice.
In addition, such openness strengthens intra-family bonds and eliminates trust problems.
The desire to receive support is one of the key reasons why people build a family and have children in general. And indeed, it would be nice for each of us to always have a reliable shoulder nearby, on which we can lean in a difficult moment.
But in order to support you, you must be able to support yourself. Therefore, never skimp on praise. A simple sincere “You are a great fellow!” or “You can do it!” able to patch more than one gap in the hole of family misunderstanding.
Let’ste advice when you need it
An adult child came for advice? Don’t give up. Talk and give advice that you would give yourself in the same situation. Even if you once regretted it, tell me. Your right is to advise. But what to do is up to the child to decide.
The main rule is to give advice only when it is asked for. This is what will mean that you are truly trusted.
Respect other people’s choices
Overprotection has never led to good things. Yes, perhaps parents know better what to do or how to act in a given situation. However, children should also be able to receive their experience, even if it may be negative.
Respect the choice of your child — and then he will always come for advice, share his ideas, ideas and plans with you. Such a model of interaction develops in children independence, responsibility, readiness to take on a leading role, the ability to plan and think analytically.
Psychologists say that children, for whom moms and dads were a burden, grow up into adults with an attitude towards their parents as a burden. But children who were treated with respect by their mothers and fathers become adults who know how to love and empathize. The task of each parent is to build the right strategy for interacting first with babies, and then with adult children: this is what will bring harmony and happiness to all household members.