The question that Irina Mlodik asks in the title of her book is probably asked by everyone whose life is connected with school or who is just going through this stage of their life. «How to survive in school?» — at least once asked themselves not only children who find it difficult to integrate into the educational process, but also their mothers and fathers, and even teachers. The author, whom we already know from some books on parenting, shares with us his view on this burning issue.

Looking back at your childhood, what can you say: is school good or bad? Obviously, the school performs an important social function. It is designed not only to give children and adolescents knowledge, to instill a love of learning, but also to form in them useful life skills, independence, creativity, the ability to defend their own psychological boundaries and adequately communicate with others. Sounds too idealistic? But Irina Mlodik thinks the same way.

So why do so many children hate school and adults remember it with a shudder? In fact, much depends on us, adults, those who raise their own child or teach someone else’s children on duty. Even graduating from the walls of an educational institution, it is important not to forget this skill — to study and learn new things. Especially now, when we can learn much more about child psychology and the principles of upbringing in order to come to the rescue in time and give a helping hand.

about the author

Irina Mlodik is already familiar to many adults from The Book for Non-Ideal Parents. She began by studying general psychology, but it so happened that after graduating from the university she ended up in a social and pedagogical center for working with children and adolescents, which became her vocation.

During this practice, she had to develop skills in counseling, group therapy and psychotherapy. Over time, in order to improve her skills, she also studied the existential approach and gestalt more deeply. Today, Irina is a candidate of psychological sciences, and she also helps her parents a lot, sharing her knowledge with them and making the world of childhood more clear for those who have already grown up.

Details about the book

The first chapter of Irina Mlodik’s book begins with a quote from Albert Camus: «School teaches us how to live in a world that does not exist.» These words sound rather sad, but are partly true: school education often features moments that children will forget as soon as they leave the educational institution, and at the same time, important skills are omitted, without which it is not easy to survive in the real world.

Thus, the author rather shows us what kind of school should be, what principles of pedagogy it is better for teachers to adhere to. And at the same time, different styles of pedagogy are described, thanks to which teachers working at the school have the opportunity to learn more about them, compare and analyze them.

Based on the above, you might think that this book will not be interesting for parents, but do not rush to conclusions. Irina Mlodik also looks at specific situations that often occur at school, how they affect children, why your child feels uncomfortable there, and therefore how you can help them in these cases.

A handy advantage of School and How to Survive in It is that it is divided into parts according to the age of schoolchildren: junior school age, middle and senior. Next, let’s look at what a caring parent and conscientious educator can take away from this book.

Believe in talent

Expecting failure takes a lot of energy — it’s logical. If a child constantly stumbles upon obstacles, say, in studying a certain subject, then it is natural that motivation decreases more and more with each step, and the subject goes into the category of hated ones. Often, the expectation of failure is fueled by parents: “If you don’t do your homework, you will get a deuce on the test”, “If you fail the exams, then you will go to sweep the yard.” What kind of success can we talk about, nurturing such expectations in a child with the best of intentions? Much better to support him. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Probably, physics is not your child’s forte. But he draws almost masterpieces. Save his energy so that he directs it to what he really does.

small manipulators

Children often manipulate the feelings of adults — parents and teachers know this. Of course, they don’t always do this, and it’s not a fact that it’s from malicious, insidious victories: children simply notice that certain phrases make their elders do what they want. For example, a child may whine at the end of the lesson about how tired he is, or tell his parents that Dimka’s mother allows him to play games on the phone for as many as 6 hours a day. In the first case, the child could really get tired, but the teacher has a lesson plan and knowledge that he must pass on to the student, no matter how sorry he is. In the second, mom and dad begin to feel like some outdated monsters — not like Dimka’s mom. But is it worth giving in to these phrases or is it a trick?

First of all, it is worth analyzing whether this or that phrase is actually manipulation and for what purpose the child can use it. Naturally, if a child expresses his feelings in such an indirect way (fatigue, anger, etc.), then it is worth showing empathy, while insisting on his own. For example, to a complaint of fatigue, you can respond: “I really sympathize with you. I am also tired. But the lesson is not over yet, so gather your strength and let’s finish this task.

What you will find in this book:

  • professional models of behavior of teachers;
  • different variations of children’s manipulations;
  • ways to encourage the child, as well as the answer to the question of whether it is worth punishing and how;
  • the answer to the question of how the child’s productive energy is spent;
  • problems of adolescents and the causes of their aggression;
  • as well as many other aspects that will put all the information in your head on the shelves and put together a complete picture from separate pieces.

Yes, school is a difficult period for both children and parents. What can we say about teachers. But this is just an excuse to make this time better for everyone. And this will work best if we act together and think about other participants in the educational process. That is why this book will be useful for such a wide range of readers.

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