According to the ideas of Maria Montessori, the traditional «Well done!», Said to the child, contains an assessment of his actions. But the purpose of praise is completely different — to make the child feel needed, valuable, important and capable of taking decisive steps.

Here are some phrases that will help you sincerely admire children:

“Wow, looks like you’ve been working on this for a long time!”

Try to focus attention when praising not on the result of the child’s actions, but on the process that he went through. Note how much work he put into his drawing or such a tall lego tower. This will support his knowledge that the process of work is no less important than its result.

«Tell me what is drawn here»

Sometimes, when showing their parents or grandma their drawing or washed dishes, children do not seek praise — they just want to talk about it. Let the child talk about how and what he did, ask him an open question about his work — you will hear a lot of interesting and new things.

“You cleaned the table in your room so carefully!”

The universal way is specific praise. «Well done», besides the fact that this is an assessment — a generalized expression of your attitude to what has been done. Tell your child about what you see in the work done and what you like about it.

“Thank you very much, you helped me a lot!”

Celebrate your child’s contribution to the community. He volunteered or you asked him — the job was done by him on his own and he probably put a lot of effort into this. Sincere praise and recognition of his contribution will surely find a response in the children’s heart.

“Wow, you made the bed yourself today, and we can start breakfast soon!”

Focus on successes, not failures. Let the children see that their efforts bring a positive result, even if something turned out not quite right and the pillow sticks out funny from under the covers. Note that initiative and independence bring concrete positive results.

Over time, the same word «Clever!» or «Well done!» depreciates because the child does not always understand the meaning embedded in it. So that good deeds are repeated again and again — be specific, mark the good things that you noticed. Agree — the more we talk about the good, the more it becomes around.

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