Behind the shoulders is the day of knowledge — a long-awaited and happy day for both first-graders and their parents. But in addition to new discoveries, acquaintances, successes, seven-year-olds are faced with a new schedule, homework and new responsibilities, and their parents may find not the most pleasant changes in the behavior and emotional sphere of a newly-made schoolchild. A change in social status often leads to a crisis, which can be different for each child. You should not worry too much — it is important to pay attention in time and support your child in a new developmental situation.
What does the crisis of seven years look like? It’s just that a child demonstrates his independence, not really considering the experiences of adults. He can copy the behavior of parents or acquaintances of adults, try to maintain serious conversations. The son or daughter begins to protest the old rules, refuse, for example, to make the bed, brush their teeth and are ready to vigorously dispute the senselessness of these actions.
Seven-year-olds try to get away from everything «childish» — previously beloved toys, clothes that seem to them «kindergarten», rejects what is associated with the stage already passed. The child strives to become more mature, gain new experience, explore the boundaries of what can be done and what is prohibited. Moreover, all of these manifestations can be both not very noticeable and bright. The crisis covers a period of six to eight years, its duration can be very different.
So, the child is actively growing, in addition to growth, the final “maturation” of the cerebral cortex, the development of the frontal lobes, and the gradual formation of the psyche take place. The usual social environment is changing — new friends appear, new interesting and significant adults — the first school teachers. The usual game, which takes up most of the time of preschoolers, is replaced by another type of activity — the acquisition of new knowledge. Ideas about yourself and the world around you change, your own system of values begins to form. You need to check a lot, evaluate the reaction of others, especially parents (after all, they are the authors of the set of rules of the “preschool” era, from which you want to run away). I want to prove that you have changed, become more mature, more serious, you can be responsible for yourself and your actions.
But the joy of schoolwork can be overshadowed by parents’ ideas about the «ideal» student: the pursuit of fives, extreme friendliness to all classmates, even unpleasant ones, lack of free time due to trips to circles and extracurricular activities. All this does not make it easier to live with the difficulties of age.
What should parents do?
It is important to revise the rules of conduct and responsibilities — you can give more freedom and independence, entrust some «adult» things — help carry purchases, give you the opportunity to pay, collect your portfolio on your own, discuss together a new daily routine and plans for the weekend, etc.
It is important to pay attention to the point of view of the child, to accept it, in some situations to ask for advice, to support the discussion of issues that are significant to him.
It is necessary to maintain curiosity and form motivation for learning, because this is not just a visit to the school «from start to finish», but the opportunity to learn a lot of interesting things, make friends with new people.
Be honest about the achievements and failures of your child — at this age he is already able to more than objectively evaluate his own successes. He will not like flattery, it will make him doubt himself.
Make it a rule to support the child and accept his feelings. He, despite his independent behavior, needs you and must know that the family is the very place where he is important, needed, where he will be listened to and understood. Do not scold, but discuss why this or that behavior may be wrong in a particular situation.
If you think that you know something better, you should only offer your own method, and not claim that it is the only correct one in this case. Let the natural consequences come — they will teach the child better than the most ardent parental parting words.